"Honestly, They Are Just Like Us": US Parents Choose Middle-Class Gender and Racial Ingroup Peers for Their Children

Children and adolescents benefit from positive intergroup peer interactions, but they are unlikely to have many opportunities for these interactions if their parents are uncomfortable with them. Drawing primarily on social identity theory (SIT), this study investigated how U.S. parents' (N = 569) comfort with their children's potential intergroup peer interactions (a) differed by child and peer group gender (boy, girl), race (Black, White), and social class (higher-, middle-, or lower-subjective social status), (b) changed over the transition from childhood to adolescence (8-10, 11-13, and 14-16 years), and (c) varied by context intimacy (hanging out vs. sleeping over). The sample was equally balanced between parents of children reflecting those same group memberships. Consistent with SIT, when asked to choose, parents were typically most comfortable with their child spending time with middle-class peers who shared their child's gender and racial ingroup membership. Moreover, parents often explained their decisions with reference to similarities between these peers and their own child or family. Parents' comfort did not differ systematically by child age, but many parents were less comfortable with cross-gender peer interactions in the more intimate sleepover context than the less intimate hangout context. All groups of parents also exhibited at least some openness to cross-group interactions. These findings advance developmental scientists' understanding of parents' roles as potential facilitators or gatekeepers of their children's intergroup peer interactions.