Responses to Transgressions: Grudges or Forgiveness?

Virtually everyone can relate to the experience of being wronged by someone else. Responses to these transgressions include seeking revenge against the transgressor, forgiving the offender, or holding a grudge against the individual. Although substantial research has examined revenge-seeking and forgiveness, surprisingly little attention has been devoted to the study of grudges, the purpose of the current study. In an exploratory study, 344 participants completed a survey on Qualtrics. After writing about a time when they were wronged and completing questions about this experience, participants indicated whether they had forgiven this person or still held a grudge against them. Most grudge-holders indicated that the transgression had occurred some time ago, that they were not motivated to resolve the grudge, and that they had been unable to obtain closure from the transgression. People who forgave the transgressor indicated that, among other reasons, they often did it for intrapersonal reasons. Implications of the transgressions, grudge-holding, and forgiveness for interpersonal relationships will be discussed.