Masculinities under construction, bodies under (re)construction: trans men's desires, contradictions, and ambiguities in the transexualizing process

This paper presents the research results on the strategies, expectations, and desires of 28 transsexual men in building their masculinities and reconstructing their bodies through cros-s-hormonization. The qualitative research was carried out in an outpatient clinic of the transse-xualization process in a city in the metropolitan region of Rio de Janeiro. We employed semi-s-tructured interviews and participant observation from November 2019 to January 2020 to collect data. Content analysis guided the analysis of the statements from which the discussed categories emerged. The categories were discussed in the li-ght of the concepts of gender, transsexuality, and masculinity, besides references from studies on ethnicity/skin color in their articulations with health. The data revealed desires, contradictions, and ambiguities regarding the construction of masculinity and the (re)construction of bodies more suited to it. They also evidenced the desi-re for the male bodily standard achieved throu-gh hormonization and surgeries, and black skin color emerged as a critical inequality mark. We concluded that, while refuting many male model features, these men want to enter this world and blend in with the crowd as men, thus experien-cing fuller masculinity.